Sharing Caregiving Responsibilities

As a caregiver, you provide valuable help and support to a person who needs it. But caring for someone else can sometimes negatively impact your own health and wellbeing — which is why it’s important to get help from others when you need it.

Did you know?
Women are disproportionally affected by both caregiving and caregiver strain.

According to the Centers for Disease and Prevention, two out of every three caregivers in the United States are women, and female caregivers report having more physical and mental distress, and poorer health, compared with male caregivers.

So, what can you do to share the responsibilities of caregiving?

Set Up a Family Meeting
If you have family members who can help, set up a time to meet, discuss the tasks that need to be done, and decide who will be responsible for what. This conversation is best had when there isn’t an emergency, and when everyone can calmly and effectively decide which tasks are suited to each person’s skills. For example, consider as a group:

• Who is the best researcher?
• Who is best at supervising and leading?
• Who is most comfortable speaking with medical staff and translating what they say to others?
• Who is good with numbers — for example, managing finances, paying bills, and reviewing insurance policies?
• Who is handiest with a hammer and wrench? 

Ask for Specific Help
Communication plays an important role in caregiving. You need to express your limits and get the support you need from others. 

• Identify specific tasks or blocks of time when you’d like help. This way, when someone offers, you have a clear assignment that will provide you with the most relief.
• Ask again. You may get turned down the first time you ask for help — but that doesn’t mean the person can’t or won’t help at another time, or with another task.
• Ask in another way. Asking for help face-to-face can be intimidating. You might be more comfortable asking over text or email. Try creating a shared calendar that lists caregiving responsibilities and asking others to sign up. 

Seek Respite
Everyone needs an occasional break from their responsibilities. Formal respite care services can be arranged for an afternoon, or for several days or weeks. Services might be charged by the hour, day, or week. (Original Medicare Part A only covers respite care when it is a part of the recipient’s hospice care.) 

A friend or family member could also occasionally cover your caregiving responsibilities, allowing you time to rest and care for yourself. Short, consistent breaks help in maintaining your own physical, mental, and emotional health.

Find a Support Group
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you may find comfort in speaking to others in a similar situation. Your doctor or local health department can recommend support groups in your area that you can attend in person or virtually.

It’s normal to feel stressed, anxious, or sad during tough times. Do what you can to help yourself: Go to your doctors’ appointments, eat nutritious food, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and stay connected to friends and family. 

Recognize when you may need more help. If depression or anxiety is getting in the way of your daily activities, talk to a psychologist, therapist, social worker, or professional counselor.